British politics has a sandwich problem

LONDON — They’re scoffed in industrial quantities every day in the United Kingdom.

But for Britain’s politicians, the simple sandwich — alongside a host of other lunchtime favorites — tend to cause no end of bother.

U.K. Conservative Leader Kemi Badenoch was the latest to fall foul of the foodies this week when she made a bold claim about the bread-based noontime treat.

Let POLITICO — finally given the chance to do some real journalism — round up the other titans of British politics brought low by lunch.

Kemi Badenoch’s war on sarnies

Tory chief Badenoch confidently declared in an interview published Thursday that sandwiches are not “a real food” — sparking an entire day of very important sandwich discourse about whether she’s right.

Badenoch revealed her deep disdain for sandwiches in a chat with the Spectator, declaring: “I’m not a sandwich person, I don’t think sandwiches are a real food, it’s what you have for breakfast.” The Tory leader went on to confirm that she “will not touch bread if it’s moist.”

Prime Minister Keir Starmer’s spokesperson in turn defended a “Great British institution” and made light of Badenoch’s preference for steak. But Badenoch may be calculating that she can tap into a silent majority of ordinary, hard-working Brits who absolutely cannot stand the feel of bread in their mouths.

Ed Miliband’s bacon blow-up

Badenoch’s by no means the first frontline politician in the U.K. to do battle with a sandwich.

Back when he was Labour leader aiming to take down David Cameron in the 2015 general election, a reportedly very hangry Miliband was snapped scoffing a bacon sarnie — and was swiftly ridiculed for looking really weird doing so.

“Ed Miliband fails to look normal while eating bacon sandwich ahead of campaign tour,” barked the Independent newspaper at the time. His formidable Tory campaign opponents — keen to cast Miliband as an out-of-touch nerd — exploited the gift, and his campaign never recovered.

Theresa May chips away her authority

Determined to learn absolutely nothing from Miliband’s bacon sandwich furore, galaxy brain Conservative aides sent then-Prime Minister Theresa May out on the 2017 election campaign trail to prove that she wasn’t some stilted robot incapable of doing normal human things.

Cue a walkabout on the British seafront holding a cone of chips in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. Yet with both hands full, May found it practically impossible to get stuck into either. She “looked for all the world like she had never eaten chips before – or at least not without a knife and fork,” the Guardian wrote. Mission accomplished! May sensationally lost her majority in the election that followed — but not before Brits had their fun on social media.

The Raab special

Conservative former Cabinet minister Dominic Raab will perhaps forever be associated with eating the same lunch ad infinitum, after a scandal involving his diary secretary prompted her to reveal his eating habits to an undercover reporter.

The woman in question told the Mirror that Raab militantly eats the same lunch every day from Pret a Manger: a chicken caesar and bacon baguette, a super-fruit pot and a “vitamin volcano” smoothie.

Much to Raab’s annoyance, the meal was swiftly dubbed the “Dom Raab Special” by Westminster wags — although Pret later revealed that Raab was perhaps on to something, picking the chain’s most popular sandwich.

Raab subsequently struggled to achieve his dream of becoming prime minister — although he did get to step in for Boris Johnson at the very worst part of the Covid-19 pandemic, which must have required a few vitamin volcanoes.

Keir Starmer’s crisp and salad monstrosity

Even Britain’s latest prime minister hasn’t escaped scrutiny for his lunch choices.

Starmer was snapped a month into his tenure holding the most depressing of lunches — a sad-looking Greek salad in a plastic box and a packet of flame-grilled steak flavor crisps. He also had a can of Tango. The glamorous world of British politics knows no bounds.

We’re not saying his collapsing poll ratings are connected, but a nutritionist did tell the Evening Standard that the PM will “get sleepy” and “probably quite hungry” by the afternoon. Good to know.

Honorable lunch-based mentions

Failed Labour leader contender Owen Smith posing as a man of the people by pretending he’d never had a “frothy coffee” … Prime minister Liz Truss stipulating that sandwiches on her pimped-out government rider could not be plastic-packed … Her Tory predecessor Boris Johnson being “ambushed by a cake” during the Partygate scandal … His Tory predecessor-but-one David Cameron eating a hotdog with a knife and fork … Conservative minister John Gummer awkwardly feeding his daughter a beef burger to convince Brits the BSE outbreak wasn’t a massive problem … Labour peer Peter Mandelson (allegedly) confusing working class favorite mushy peas with posho guacamole … the late Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond‘s Solero photoshoot … And the OG legend, the fourth Earl of Sandwich, inventor and namesake of the lunch classic, supposedly coming up with it because he didn’t want to have to stop gambling for five minutes.

Andrew McDonald contributed to this report.